HEALING & SINGING
Some people may find this account difficult to believe because it is about treatment I am receiving that is working without the use of drugs or surgery, or any substance or procedure that has involved physical contact with my body.
This ‘spiritual healing’ is nothing short of miraculous. It is restoring my eyesight and hearing, has stopped the pain in my knees and hips and has transmuted the negative emotional energy in my chakras that was preventing me from thinking clearly and positively. Most amazing of all, is that it is giving me a voice as, before the treatment began, I had virtually no singing ability.
I also describe here some of the conditions and dis-abilities I have had to contend with during my life, that have and are presently being spiritually healed.
PREDICTING MY OWN HEALING?
My book, A Golden Age Economy, contains much about healing and health as good health is the greatest gift. My vision for the future of healthcare is encapsulated in the following passage taken from the chapter, Abundance in Health, written in 2012, in which episode three examines, in a series of essays, our world from a point one hundred years in the future:
“The realisation that the power elite wanted to keep the masses in a constant state of ill health was the catalyst that brought about change in the way the post-2012 world approached the business of healthcare. The emphasis shifted from using chemicals to treat the physical symptoms of disease, to a holistic approach, where the spiritual aspects of illness were considered before anything else. In practice this involved doctors putting psychology before pharmacology and surgery. This is not to say that medication and the knife have no place, but that they should be regarded as a last resort. The medical profession came of age when they accepted, as fact, that disease in the physical body is the effect of a cause in the spiritual being (psychology) that occupies that body, and that what manifests in the physical body is an out-picturing of a problem in the spiritual body (mental body) or mind. “The universe is mental.” (Hermes).
In the years that followed the reformations, self healing took off. The economic benefits of divine healthcare brought huge savings in costs as the sick care system promoted for the benefit of Big Pharma suffered a cardiac arrest.
Worker’s stress levels went down and their productivity went up. The healthcare sector shrank, which released people to work in the wealth-creating sector and this was better for the economy as a whole. Steadily improving physical and mental health meant that fewer people had to be cared for in homes for the elderly and this released money for other things and helped to reduce taxes. Abundance in health had arrived.”
At age eleven I studied music at school but my practical work was a disaster. I discovered that I was tone deaf, as, when my music teacher played a particular note on the piano, I didn’t have a clue what it was. Unsurprisingly my initial enthusiasm for music lessons nosedived and I dismissed all thoughts of learning to play an instrument.
I couldn’t sing either – even though I had an inner urge to want to do so, and consequently put the business of making music on ice – until that is, at age 14, when I discovered the delights of playing the drums.
I concluded that if God had intended me to sing or play tunes on an instrument he would have given me some musical ability. So I decided to focus on what I knew I could do, which was playing the drums (rhythm) and writing lyrics (rythme).
I should also mention that my tone deafness meant that I could not tune my accoustic drums properly, which is why I switched to electronic drums in 2011.
THE UNSINGING SONG-WRITER
“Look Kim, I get the gist of it, it’s just that what you are attempting to sing does not correspond with any notes that I recognise. So how do you expect me to put music to these lyrics if I can’t work out what the bl**dy notes are!”
Since 1974, the above comments and variations on them have been uttered by my co-writer (Phil Souter), as he tried to transcribe the musical content of my songs to piano. So yes, as he attested, I simply couldn’t sing. I could not pitch, my vocal range was narrow and what sounds I could make with my ‘singing’ voice were unpleasant.
So to try and overcome this we evolved a system for writing songs whereby I would write the lyrics and then do my utmost to convey to him the core aspects of the song, such as the tempo, style and the basic tune. If he was able to interpret my ideas and liked what I proposed he would enhance and add to them until the essental elements of the song were complete. The next stage would be for Phil to assign the individual instrument parts to each band member. And because he was the only permanent member of the group who could sing, he would do the vocals too.
If Phil could not relate to my ideas, he would write something different, and, subject to mutual agreement, we would go with that, though his changes invariably meant that I had to amend the lyrics.
There were one or two times when I put words to music that he had written first, but the best songs always seemed to come when music was added to my words.
‘SINGING’ MY OWN SONG
Even though I could not sing, there was one occassion when, out of necessity, I had no choice. It was a ‘First Things First’ gig at the Horn of Plenty public house in St Albans, England, during the late nineteen seventies. I cannot remember exactly why I was called upon to render this dis-service to the people of that City, but I know that there was a good reason why our usual vocalist (Phil) was not able to perform on the night. The song I sang, while simultaneously playing the drums, was called the Book of Life. Written in 1974, it was the first song I ever wrote. As an up-tempo number, it requires a lot of energy to perform, and consequently, I struggled to get sufficient air into my lungs to sing and play at the same time, with the result that I sang it flat. The audience were unimpressed and it was the first and last time I ever sang for the band!
Like many men, I am not one for dealing with medical problems immediately they arise, so it is difficult to say precisely when the lump in my neck began to grow. But it must have been somewhere between five and ten years later, when, having an examination for something else, my doctor discovered a growth in my neck the size of a small apple. It is incredible that during all that time I had not noticed it myself, given it’s eventual size. I can only surmise that as it amassed so slowly it went unnoticed and thus was ignored. They say that sometimes you can never see what is right infront of your nose, but in my case, I could not see what was six inches beneath it!
What I had noticed though, was that my throat had become dryer and was prone to irritation when I ate, drank and spoke. The sound of my voice changed too. It was more raspy and my breathing had become more laboured.
I had given up smoking nine years before, so did not think that the lump related to that, but then again, one can never be entirely sure. My doctor said that I needed to have some tests done, but it was not until I was given the results of the biopsy that it was confirmed that I was cancer free. Nevertheless, the lump was pressing against my windpipe and restricting the airflow by about 15%.
My Consultant Surgeon said that it was unlikely that the lump would shrink, but more likely that it would get bigger, and possibly life threatening. And, the bigger it became the more difficult it would be to operate on, without incident. So after much soul searching, I decided to have this prize-sized goitre removed – even though it would mean losing half of my thyroid gland. I knew that it was a potentially dangerous operation, but had every faith in the skill and dedication of my Consultant and his medical team. I prayed for a successful outcome and imagined all being well in my minds eye, and thankfully my prayers were answered. The scar tissue, where the incision in my neck was made, is now almost invisible, and I have not needed any form of medication to ‘rebalance’ my thyroid gland. Since the operation my breathing has improved, and my speaking voice is much clearer and more refined. I am indebted to everyone who worked on my behalf at my local hospital.
Little did I know then that this would be the beginning of a series of strange events that would eventually lead to me to acquiring a ‘singing’ voice and much more besides!
I will never forget the day when I was watching TV and my beloved wife, Elizabeth (who passed in 2013) said to me: “Kim the TV is far too loud; you really must get your hearing tested.” It wasn’t the first time she had made such a comment, and when I dicovered that the TV volume control was almost at maximimum, I realised that I had a problem. My doctor referred me to a Consultant who diagnosed congenitial hearing loss and prescribed hearing-aids. By then the loss was pronounced, and in the years that followed, the deterioration continued until I became clinically deaf, and thus unable to hear my own speech unaided.
I also I suffer from tinnitus, a condition that manifests itself in different ways. In my particular case I hear two background sounds unceasingly: the first is like a air-conditioning unit purring incessantly and the second is a permanent high-pitched ringing noise.
Combined with my deafness it all makes for a very negative experience that severely restricts my lifestyle. Worst of all, is the negative impact it has on my self-confidence, when attempting to communicate effectively in social environments. Background noise makes it difficult to hear people talking – even when they are close. Often I cannot hear anything discernable, so that gradually I went into a state of withdrawal. I began to hide away, to hope that no one would catch my eye, and try to engage me in conversation for fear of the potential embarrassment it would cause, if I misheard them, and then responded inappropriately. I found myself being thought of by others as rude and/or standoffish, when in truth, I was desperate to communicate normally – like everyone else. I felt isolated, depressed and dulled, but craving to shine.
The movie, Immortal Beloved, about Beethoven’s thwarted secret love affair, grahically depicts how the great man suffered as he was progressively denied the ability to hear the fruits of his magnificent compositions. By the end of his life he was completely deaf and had to content himself with the expressions of joy and wonderment on the faces of the crowds who applauded and cheered as they were so uplifted in their hearts and spirits by his ‘Music of the Spheres.’
But during his adult life Beethoven’s deafness caused him to become increasingly angry and frustrated as the condition worsened. The ignorant and those without empathy, made fun of his disability, as did rivals, jealous of his prodigious talent, and the innovative nature of his music.
Deafness for a musician/composer is like a thief who increasingly steals what you cherish most, which is your ability to hear in the physical octave, the outpourings of your love-laden labours. And thus, it is a tribute to Beethoven’s greatness that he was able to endure these trials, and yet still create such incredible works of genius.
I was deeply touched by this film, as I have some understanding of what Beethoven must have gone through, though, unlike him, my deafness has been greatly alleviated by advanced hearing aid technology, and more recently, by the spiritual healing I am receiving.
The first indications that there was something wrong came in my final year at junior school. I was eleven at the time and left the classroom each day with a splitting headache. I had also found it increasingly hard to read the blackboard, which hampered my academic progress. A close family member speculated that the problem may be with my eyes, which a trip to the opticians later confirmed. But what made matters worse, was that in my late teens I contracted a serious case of conjunctivitis that was incorrectly treated with steriods by my doctor. Consequently, the cornea in my left eye became ulcerated – a condition that exacerbated the severity of the conjuctivitis when it re-occurred. It also impaired my vision when it was exposed to naked light, and made driving at night, extremely stressful.
My first pair of glasses were free, but the frames were extremely unflattering. The optician advised me that my myopia would get worse with age, so I would need increasingly thick prescription lenses. This disclosure displeased me immensely, though it was something I was able to temporarily assuage twelve years later.
At age 22 I was an image conscious drummer in a semi-pro progressive rock band at night, and a sales representative for the UK’s most famous soap maker, during the day. My territory included all the wealthiest parts of London, and the capital’s most famous department store was my most prestigious account. That particular summer’s day, the sun was exceptionally bright and I wondered if the staff in the department store could give me prescription lenses housed in a sunglasses frame, as I had always coveted a pair of sunglasess just like the ones the Second World War American airforce pilots used to wear. You see, sunglasses on their own were of no use to me, as my eyes were so weak that I could not drive legally without proper prescription lenses. So, I entered the store’s opticians department and was approached by a smart, well mannered man who asked how he could assist me. I explained the situation and asked if they could facilitate my requirements. He replied thus: “Well certainly Sir, this is H****ds, and Sir can have precisely what Sir wants.” And so I did!
However, my penchant for such eyeware had its downside, because as my myopia increased, so did the thickness of the lenses and the robustness of the frames needed to hold them. I became defined by my enormous tinted specs, which hid a large part of my face. A friend’s large dog used to bark every time he saw me, as, I believe, he was not entirely sure what lurked behind the giant glass facade that obsured me. I think the uncertainty made him feel uneasy, and perhaps a little fearful. And this, of course, begs the question were there any humans who came into contact with me who felt the same way?
So in trying to solve one image problem, I had created another, which led me to the conclusion that I needed a completely different solution. So in future years I switched to the thinnest lenses with the least amount of frame. Spectacle technology had advanced, and so at great expense, the mass of plastic covering my face was dispensed with, and I emerged back into the light, so that once again, people could see my facial features, but more importantly, the whites of my eyes!
But seriously, wearing glasses does limit your lifestyle. Swimming, for example, is no fun when you cannot dive or see where you are going and many sports, and certainly most ‘high-octane’ leisure activities are out of bounds too. And when you combine shortsightedness with deafness the number and breadth of activities that can be pursued with confidence and conviction is greatly reduced.
The local music school is two miles from my home, and has been there for as long as I can remember. I have walked past it hundreds of times, but have never taken more than a cursory interest, until, one day in 2016, I stopped and peered into their shop window. This was around the time that my debut single, Funny Money, was being recorded and I had begun work on this website. I discovered that the school taught most instruments, including, drums, piano and singing. As a long-time drummer, however, there was no interest for me there, but as a song writer, I thought that learning to play the piano would be extremely useful. But then I remembered that being tone deaf would make that difficult, so dismissed that idea too. And, as for singing, well, I did not have a viable voice, so there didn’t seem much point in taking that any further either, so I started to walk away, but, as I did, I noticed a pure white feather on the pavement, in front of the music school ‘shop’ window.
Now, I have spent years trying to work out what different feathers mean, and I believed that this one was a message from my guardian angel that was telling me that the school would be important to me at some point in the future, though given my musical status at that time, I could not think how that might be. But nevertheless, the incident put me on alert!
By the time I had had nine healing sessions the significance of that feather became astoundingly clear. The treatments had transformed my rasping old voice into a sparkly new one that was now ready to be professionally trained, so that this wonderful gift could be magnified.
For someone who had previously possessed so little practical musical ability, using this new ‘instrument’ was an exhilarating experience. For although I have always been able to create music in my head and have had song-writing dreams, they were of little practical value as I could not play or write music. So I would wake up unable to act upon what I had dreamt. As you can imagine, I found all of this very frustrating. And so to be given the ability to sing real notes and create new musical works with my own internal instrument, was immensely liberating.
And so in May 2018 I felt compelled to contact the music school to find a suitable teacher. After reading all the tutor bio’s on the music school website, I contacted the lady whose background, training and experience ticked all the key boxes, and who I knew would be perfect for me.
During my first lesson, I explained that I had written over fifty songs that I wanted to record with me taking the role of lead vocalist. So I sang one of them to her and she said that I needed to master ‘pitching.’ Her view was that I had a pleasant sounding voice that was somewhere between being a baritone and tenor. In subsequent weeks my ability to pitch improved markedly, and even more so, when at my teacher’s suggestion, I bought a piano.
I continue to learn singing, piano and music theory.